ArchiveMarch 2017

Hit Me Baby, One More Time

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And no, this is not a Britney reference. It’s about what happens behind closed doors after midnight.  I place it on a key while he waits for me. The anticipation is palpable. My unapologetic yearning makes the sensation higher than the feeling of getting high.  One hit sends me to the stratosphere, a euphoric state beyond realms and galaxies—a sweet escape. I know he’s watching me...

What It’s Like Discovering New Wines and Having Great Sex?

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I binged on bottles of red wine like my last days were upon these dry lands. To me, wine is a food group fulfilling me with energy and ideas. My favorite activity is to carefully select a bottle from my favorite super store: Trader Joes. Then rush over to my boyfriend’s house and share my discovery.  We sat and sipped and exchanged opinions. He made a vegetarian pasta dish to pair with it...

Is My Love Life Becoming a Full-time Job?

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My boyfriend needed two days a week away from me.  I should cut him some slack. He’s in the throws of a divorce. It has been married 15 long years. He’s not trying leap from a divorce to a gay marriage.  Please judge me.  Heck, I even judged myself. He didn’t promise to leave his wife but she left him. There were court dates not play dates. Thus, I continued...

Stop Me From Ruining My Relationship

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I fucked up again. We have been dating for a couple of months but I becoming obsessed like Beyonce in that B-movie. I wanted to consume every concoction, cocktail and conversation with him. The thirst was real.  “I’m going out so you’re not coming over,” he said.  “Excuse, what you mean? I wanna go out with you.” I know how desperate. I can’t handle being alone again. It took 10 years...

Sex Over 30 and Falling in Love

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According to Jimi Hendrix, “The story of life is quicker than the blink of an eye, the story of love is hello, goodbye.” Life is shorter than our sex sessions. Yes, my boyfriend and I tend to finish during commercial breaks. I tend to roll over panting. Yep, this is sex over 30. Balancing schedules and checking accounts are second nature to adults. Sometimes there isn’t enough time.  But as...

Fear of Falling And Fooling Around

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“It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both,” Niccolo Machiavelli.  I’ve never been a fan of fear. It’s something desperate people cling to in times of uncertainty. I can’t say I blame them. That emotion elected “The Donald.” It’s the type of progress you place between your thighs when you want to fuck yourself. My stomach is still recovering. My gag reflex hasn’t had a...

My First Love Died on Me

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Sara Barnard one said, “[When] I was sixteen, and I honestly believed I was due a love story.” I didn’t have that epiphany until a year later but it ended in tragedy. Romeo and Juliet lingered in my mind like a migraine. I couldn’t understand why they had to kill themselves.  I wasn’t feeling as dangerous. But as a virgin on the verge—I needed to fix this. I walked the dimly...

Can You Be Gay And Go To Heaven?

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My gay relationship is infringing on my religious beliefs. In these turbulent times, we seek refuge in our religion and relationships. But I don’t want to lose my religion because I’m gay. Can’t I have both?  I pass like night until I pass out. I blame the wine turning each weeknight into a weekend like a mother fucking star boy. I guess everyone wants to star on Star.  So Saturday I...

Romance Is My Day Job

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Oscar Wilde once said, “Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.” If that’s the case then romance is my day job. My relationship experience is a collection of mistakes alike Hillary Clinton’s campaign for the presidency—a culmination celebrated by a “basket of deplorables.” Every love story starts with the beginning. Blood, sweat, tears and cum seep from me after each failed...

What It’s Like Falling in Love With Someone Bipolar?

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30 days in and I have a new addiction. I could lay next to him under sheets for hours. He would tell me anecdotes about his past punctuated by melancholy.  I reached over to kiss him as he recounted his wife walking out with his two kids, dog, and furniture in tow. An event so traumatic that it precipitated his Bipolar Disorder.  “I don’t know why you keep coming back,” he said while...

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