Is Jealousy the Ultimate Relationship Killer?

Artwork by Anthony Gonzales

Jealousy can ruin your relationship. 

It creeps in like a rapist, stealing your innocence and filling you with anger and anxiety. It can destroy you. It’s demanding and dangerous. And it almost happened to me. 

Wrestling with him spending time with Wanda brought a jolt of jealousy. It had me contemplating a scene from Fatal Attraction. He even skipped church to hang with her. Yes, he chose her over Jesus. 
Since spring, I have been trying to transition my relationship from indoors to outdoors. Excursions to bars and restaurants without me took the romance out of our relationship. 
It’s not entirely his fault. Our finances coupled with our lack of creativity was complicit. I too am the culprit for movie nights in bed. 

Who is that being rude and texting you first thing in the morning?

“Never mind,” I rolled my eyes and clinched the covers. 
“Oh it’s Wanda, she wants to hang out. I’m meeting her at Union Station.”
“Oh, what are you guys planning to do?”
“What we normally do, go eat somewhere.” 
“Where’s that change from last night?”
I grabbed the zip lock bag from the black bookcase and tossed it to him. 
“Well, I have no way of reaching you. Since my phone is off.”
“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” He leaned in for a kiss. 
“When am I expecting you back?”
“I don’t know yet.” 
Of course, he didn’t. His past relationships consumed our present. From his wife and the divorce that couldn’t be quicker to his ex-girlfriend who suck up his free time, and to the “was-band” he mentions too often for my tastes. Do I need to hear about his exes in the middle of breakfast? 
After he left, I grabbed the iPad. I discovered she invited him to her hotel, which he omitted. She will be in DC until Thursday. 

Oh hell no! 

Hotels can be quite tempting to the desperate, considering my boyfriend has been avoiding his roommate after he served him an eviction notice. He may be susceptible, but he didn’t leave with an overnight bag. 
I shouldn’t be jealous of her. We don’t have the same sex parts. But what is he going to do in a hotel room with his high school sweetheart? 
Cinco de Mayo was a day marked with a conversation about cash. He had tentative plans to hang out with the couple he met Wednesday night at Cloak and Dagger. How was he going to manage that with his money issues? 
“Babe, I want to celebrate Cinco de Mayo with you,” I said. “How are we going to do that with no money?” 
He took a mental tally using his fingers of the money he spent. This was after he returned the Versace cat eye shades back to Macy’s. The struggle was surreal. 
“Let’s do our own little party instead?”
I got undressed and climbed into bed. 
“I’m not feeling well,” he said. 
The next morning he made breakfast. He went to the store and returned with DVDs, groceries, and toiletries. 
I stroked his erect penis underneath his plaid boxers. I went under the covers and sucked his dick. He fucked me. It was rough and relentless. We motioned to the floor. He fucked me from in front of the mirror. Watching yourself having sex can be naughty and narcissistic. 

I hope you’re ready to cum because I can’t wait no more. 

He came with both arms in the air like a touchdown. He fell on my back. 

“For some reason, it’s extra good this morning,” He kissed me on my cheek.
“No, It’s always good,” The sperm oozed down my inner thighs. 
It was in that moment I realized I had nothing to be jealous about. 
In any relationship, you’re taking a risk. Uncertainty lies within even the most confident couples. But being jealous can jeopardize your relationship. We use jealousy as a coping mechanism to deal with problems within our courtships. 

It infects you like cancer.

When dealing with this relationship killer remember that jealous thoughts don’t equal reality. 

Walter Reed is a sex columnist at Send your love and sex advice questions to

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Love, Walter

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