CategoryMemoir

I Dream of Skinny Jeans

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Summertime sadness was like a mantra for these sizzling days and humid nights. To escape from the sweltering heat of my basement apartment, I blast an air conditioner and a fan. Next down and glasses of sparkling white wine or rose to cope. That usually helps a bit. Sometimes it’s just too hot to cuddle, much less fuck. I’m not sweating out my press for a commercial break worth a pleasure...

Writing in Case of an Emergency

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I’m staring at the blank page like I’m eyeing a handsome stranger in a bar. But instead of dancing on my own, I’m writing on my own terms.  From doctors visits to trying to feel better when I don’t quite look better is taking a longer than a summer in Sin City.  They say we cling to what’s important in the darkest moments. In times of strife, I binge on writing, sex, and...

This Is No Cinderella Story

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I could have danced all night, and if I had $10 more I would have. It was a Tuesday night which felt more like a Friday night because the night was so lit. It started after Cinderella ended hers. She could have spent the night with me, cleaning the gritty streets of the city with our dancing feet. She was sans a glass slipper and couldn’t handle the concrete jungle in such fragile footwear...

Did My Relationship Make Me Fat?

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So what I gained some weight. These hoes trying to make America great again, somehow made me fat again. But how did I let them set me up? Saying yes to everything, by binging on an Eat, Pray, Love philosophy left little room for exercise. Also, making every night a movie night—the perils of falling in love. But the side effects of great sex didn't curb any cravings. He follows up with desserts...

Sucking Dick Can Make You Believe You Can Fly

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Peter Pan once said,“The moment you doubt whether you can fly. You cease to be ever to it.” That’s true with sex. I used to go years without having it. Sure there were multiple masturbatory sessions. At times, I beat my dick until it hurts. The fear of what Prince called, “the big disease with the little name,” and being used made me romance intolerant. Instead, I focused on my drinking. I was my...

I Was 17 When I Had My First Kiss and This Is What Happened

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My secret sexuality led to self-discovery. As an emerging homosexual, I was the last to know which direction my pendulum would swing. I couldn’t express myself like Madonna. Instead, I binged watch Queer As Folk, which was like Homosexuality 101—my clandestine crash course. I identified with Justin, a 17-year-old Twink pinning for older “daddy” types. We were the same age. Searching for a father...

I Replaced Drugs With My Relationship and This Is What Happened

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Artwork by Anthony Gonzales I have a new designer drug and it’s my boyfriend. I crave him no matter the cost. And unlike snorting coke, each experience makes me richer. We converted his bedroom into our love nest. I spend 80 percent of my time naked under 400-thread count Egyptian cotton sheets. I enjoy foreplay. He dives under the sheets like a beast in heat. Each suck tickles. He emerges with a...

Is Jealousy the Ultimate Relationship Killer?

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Artwork by Anthony Gonzales Jealousy can ruin your relationship.  It creeps in like a rapist, stealing your innocence and filling you with anger and anxiety. It can destroy you. It’s demanding and dangerous. And it almost happened to me.  Wrestling with him spending time with Wanda brought a jolt of jealousy. It had me contemplating a scene from Fatal Attraction. He even skipped church...

To Douche, Or Not To Douche, That Is The Question

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Artwork by Anthony Gonzales on Instagram:  @anthgonz1 Shitting on dicks can kill romance real quick.  We call it painting. When balancing a regime of dining, drinking, and drugging—it’s not surprising that a douche is in order if you’re expected to get down back there.  I have a confession to make. I haven’t been doing it lately. Doing in the butt can leave his dick...

I Met 4 Gay Porn Stars and This Is What Happened

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In honor of Pornhub’s recent 10th birthday—I wrote about meeting four gay porn stars:  Hot Rod, Arquez, Ace Rockwood, and Red.  Here’s what they were like off camera.  1. Hot Rod  I met Hot Rod on a hot night at a little New York club called Secrets. I was introduced through a promoter boyfriend who promoted our relationship to anyone in the New York Tristate area. He towered...

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